"If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change." - Dr. Wayne Dyer

Have you ever noticed what happens to you when you're asked to do something new? Do you get anxious or fearful? Does your heart start to beat just a little faster? Do you argue with yourself about whether or not you can do it and say yes anyway but with trepidation?

I suppose some of you simply look at the situaion as exciting and a wonderful challenge - which by the way will cause most of the same symptoms but are translated as excitement. :) I only wish...

I was asked to take on a new role - at least make a proposal for it - and although I felt it would be great fun once I was into it - the getting into it caused me to question my ability to do the job. Was I capable of learning the ins and outs of the job? Was the rate I was quoting reasonable? Am I worth it? There are professionals out there doing the same thing? Can I do as a good a job? Emotions, doubt, confusion, anxiety. Stop already!

One thing I have learned over the years is to step back from the emotion and being so subjective. I have learned that looking at a situation objectively - from a less than emotional perspective always gave me new insight, fresh ideas and a sense of calmness I otherwise wouldn't know. What are the facts? What are some options? Is it something I really want to do versus my ego saying yes simply because I was asked? Will it be fun? What steps would need to be taken to begin? So what? Could I learn using my own resources? Is there someone I can talk it through with that I trust? And - is beating myself up working for me!?!

Today I realized how many times I have felt fearful or anxious only to come to the realization that what appeared to be overwhelming and challenging was in fact relatively simple or quite learnable.

It's all about perspective! It's rarely an either/or situation. Reaching out to someone is a sign of resilience and a good thing. So - I'm going to play now and see how easy it really is going to be - and fun to boot! And let's see how the Universe Unfolds... :)

"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." Buddha


If we only knew! It's like peeling an onion. We shed one layer and lo and behold isn't there another that shows itself and sometimes it just stinks!

Another AHA moment - and this time about our birth names. For instance, as a child:

'Patricia Ruth Barnes!!! or just 'Patricia!!! Oh-oh!!! I'm in trouble! Fear sets in. I've done something wrong - again. I'm not good enough.'

Has this happened to you? Thinking about it do you wonder what kind of imprint it might have left on your psyche, on who you are?

I now understand why my husbands' desire to call me 'Patricia' did not give me a warm fuzzy feeling whereas in my previous marriage I was called Pattie which I loved as it didn't have a history, particularly a negative one!

We unconsciously connect our name to our identity, who we are. When it is used to inject fear what does that do to our self esteem, sense of self? As children we don't have the capability or capacity to deferentiate what we own vs. what the parent owns so we invaribly take on a belief system that it's all about us.

The truth is our parents likely learned this behaviour from their parents who learned it from.....so it's in our DNA. So blame mode is useless - as it always is. We can only hope that the best of who we are was also reinforced. Meanwhile on our journey of life we find whatever works for us to help us to learn to be fully the love that we are.

It's huge when we become self aware at the conscious level. We can logically think about what is true and what is not. The work then becomes how to make the shift at the limbic or unconscious level. In my case I have some meditations that are directed specifically to making these shifts at my limbic (or subconscious) level - and the work continues.

Who am I? I am worthwhile! I am powerful. I am love and I am loved. I am Patricia Ruth Barnes Milland.

Baby steps
One at a time
Come to me
As if in a line

Sometimes I pay attention
Sometimes I don't
When I do, I win
When I don't, I don't

When I pay attention
My life feels full
I like who I am
I have that extra pull

I want to become more
No longer feel low
I become more aware
Of how far I can go

Being right doesn't serve me
Being open always does
To renewing my faith
In the end it's about love

It's not that I'm not good
I am learning I am
It's the insights that shift
Becoming more of I AM

It's funny - not really
How we just plugged along
One foot in front of the other
With the thought we are alone

When I pay attention
The journey's worthwhile
I have something to offer
That brings from within, a smile

To continue to pay attention
For the gifts that I receive
For when I ask for guidance
How quickly I perceive

The clarity comes swiftly
Most of the time
It's when I pay attention
I make the change mine

It's easy when we ask
For the help we so desire
It's in the letting go
Of having to stay in the fire

The fire can be Light
Versus the burning of my soul
It can heal me and show me
To consider a new goal

A goal to stay present
A goal to be love
A goal to forgive
And all of the above

Baby steps
One at a time
Come to me
As if in a line


Pat Milland
February 23, 2009
5 a.m.

"The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking
new landscapes, but in having new eyes." - Marcel Proust


'Imagine all my possible selves - thinner, fitter, organized, successful, etc. - as already within me.'

This is an excerpt from something I was reading at a site I was looking at a couple of days ago.

NLP techniques include visualizations as effective tools for change. Another technique or variation on this is affirmations such as suggested by Louise L. Hay in her highly successful book, You Can Heal Your Life. What is important though, in my opinion, is that when we do visualizations such as these that we KNOW it to be true vs. thinking it so.

I can visualize as much as I like but if my inner voices say – "Ya, right!" I can assume that all the visualization in the world won't work. Now when I can convince my inner voice that this is and can be the truth through enough repetition that is another matter. In the convincing though, I suspect that I may be employing new behaviours that make 'it' come true, sometimes at an unconscious level.

For instance, if I stand in front of a mirror (or not) everyday and repeat to my self that I am thinner, I am likely to make better decisions when it comes to what I eat. I may decide to go for more walks or exercise more.

The same applies when I do daily visualizations. Both techniques then can be effective IF done daily and with conviction. It will be important to become aware of our inner voices when we hear ourselves say "Ya, right!" or anything similar.

Once we become aware of those voices (or parts of ourselves) we can deal with them. Ask them what their purpose is in maintaining the doubt. What is important though, is having the skill to ask from an 'other than conscious' mind - because otherwise we are simply speaking to our conscious minds including the thoughts and belief systems that have brought to where we are in the first place.

How to do this!

Sit quietly and breathe very deeply and very slowly. Once you are completely relaxed, ask that part of you who doubts or questions the possibility for change what their purpose is. Relax and allow whatever comes, come, in it's own time. Do not judge it. Listen to it. Based on what comes up ask more questions or the same one "What is your purpose?" Avoid any judgment as to whether or not the information that surfaces makes sense or is valid. You will be surprised where you end up.

These I call AHA moments that create quantum leaps of faith. Such fun!

As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. - Nelson Mandela


I was sharing with a dear friend the other day; someone I trust and care for. In our sharing I quoted a couple of people I have learned from and have impacted my life. She questioned why I do this - what makes them the expert? More importantly, why don't I simply state what I believe and honour that? This certainly gave me pause.

I realized I quote others because I felt that without crediting someone else I won't have credibility. "They" have stature and reputation that I in my mind, do not.

Hmm - so what does that say about me?

Perhaps it says I don't trust my own belief systems or perhaps myself. I didn't have faith that others might see my beliefs as having value. I wasn't walking the talk about owning my power.

In forming my beliefs I gather information and along with my current knowledge base, accept or reject the information that makes sense in my world. The information I accept must feel right and inspire me. Hands on experience, if available, will convince me, one way or the other. Life experiences, personal and sometimes those of others, are also measurements that are convincers for me.

With this new awareness of myself, I can now share what I believe with others, trusting myself, my gifts, my beliefs, my experiences. I can trust what I have to share has value, if not to all, certainly for some. I am good enough. I am credible. Whether or not others agree, is immaterial. I will listen to the opinions of others with an open mind. I will accept that what they believe works for them is as important as what I believe works for me.

So, folks - I have a voice and I own it! Now there, my dear, is an AHA!